“Do I seriously have to wear this stupid thing?” I shouted at the thick velvet curtain. I was fiddling with corset laces that were clearly meant to be done up by someone else and couldn’t seem to keep my bosom in the front. In the mirror, I could see where the laces were bunching, but no matter what I pulled, it wasn’t making it any better. From the curtain came a sarcastic laugh and it was suddenly pushed to the side, light streaming in from a giant crystal chandelier. “Vani!” I shouted, hurriedly turning away from the open doorway, “I’m changing!”
Vanessa rolled her eyes and shut the curtains. “I thought you needed some help,” she murmured, glaring at the mess of cords behind my back, “and, besides, it’s nothing any of us haven’t seen before.” Chuckling, she started pulling things, knocking the breath out of my lungs and crushing my ribs. “Really, Kai, I can’t believe you’ve never wanted to try one of these on,” she muttered as she turned me around to tuck my breasts into the bodice before tying a very neat bow in the back.
Staring at myself in the mirror, I groaned, “You realize I’d be far more comfortable in-”
“-a riding suit like the other half of the wedding party is wearing?” Vanessa cut me off, knowing exactly what I was going to say. She was stern in that moment, but the hardness vanished when she saw my face. Sighing, she brushed her hand over my cheek and whispered, “I know my sister just doesn’t get it and you know I want you to be there but-”
“-if it makes me too uncomfortable you’d suffer through without me,” I cut her off with a sad smile. Bending to kiss her lightly, I straightened, pushed the corset around a bit and tried to sigh, which was a mistake as it felt instantly tighter. I twisted and gasped, “I’m not gonna abandon you, but I would really like to at least not wear something this tight.”
Squeezing my hand, Vani sighed, “Alright, I’ll go get the one I picked out for you.”
I turned and snapped, “Then what the hell is this, this boob cage, if not what you picked out?” Desperately, I attempted to unlace the corset and Vanessa rolled her eyes before helping me.
“Oh, uh, this was just the fanciest and most regal dress and I thought since you never wear dresses, you may need a little perspective,” she replied quietly.
“You mean the one you picked out will look so lax compared to this hell that I won’t fight it? That’s not gonna happen. You are in for a world of hurt, missy,” I muttered breathlessly, trying to keep the frown on my face and remain mad but already failing. When I was finally able to breathe again, I turned and immediately smiled as she was laughing. “Seriously, Vani, I am gonna just, I’m not gonna wear it,” I grumbled, dropping the corset to the floor and crossing my arms to oppose the smile.
Rolling her eyes, she slipped through the curtain and returned a few seconds later with a piece of clothing I couldn’t identify right off. She hung it on the hook, moving the remaining bits of ball gown cotton and silk to the back hanger. Gingerly plucking the corset off the floor, she laid it beside the fancy dress and began to pull apart the new outfit. “So, this one has a corset, but it’s leather, not as tight, and it goes on over everything else. The dress is a little heavier, and it isn’t as long, but it still has that, that-” Vanessa began to explain, holding her hands out and searching for a word that evaded her grasp.
“Aesthetic your sister was going for?” I offered as the various layers of this new costume were delicately laid across the bench to reveal the silken slip underneath.
I touched the slick fabric as Vani turned, triumphant, and replied, “Precisely. I’ll go grab my dress and be back to make sure you don’t need help.” With that, I was left alone with a terrifying piece of expensive, foreign attire that I would likely never again don. Well, after the wedding, that is.
Carefully stepping into a pair of bloomers, I pulled the slip on and did up the clasp in the back. I could have left it at that and been fairly pleased. The four other layers of material appeared quite daunting. I got the actual pants on fine, tying the band carefully and fixing the hems that would bunch up under a pair of high riding boots. I was most excited about the boots; they were something I may actually wear. As I pulled the heavy skirt over my head, to avoid ruffling the material as much as possible, groaning to myself about the layers of warm clothing and the fact that the wedding was slated for early summer. Pulling that layer reasonably tight over my hips, I pulled on the tunic and fixed the ruffles everywhere. The collar was very wide, sliding partway down my shoulders, and exposed the tattoos across my upper back and shoulders. A flock of ravens hid scars I didn’t want people to see. After getting everything settled, I turned my attention to the ornate leather corset sitting on the end of the bench.
I was just reaching for it when Vanessa returned and gasped as the curtain fell behind her. “Oh, you look amazing!” she gushed, touching the ruffles at my wrists and the birds flying over my shoulders. There was a twinkle in her eye as she stepped back to admire the skirts. Stepping back to the curtain, she pursed her lips and donned a sly smile. “Alright, so, this whole thing is amazing,” she stated, waving at me, “but I also picked out another piece that, depending on the weather, you may want to wear.”
“You mean I can just wear sweatpants and a t-shirt?” I joked, trying not to admire how hot I looked.
“Haha, no,” she replied. She rolled her eyes and added, “It’s something to put on top of everything, including the corset. I’ll see you out there.” With that, she left.
Finally picking up the leather, I undid the ties as much as I dared and pulled it on over my head. Turning it, I got it in the right spot and pulled the laces. This one was far less complicated and didn’t cut off my breathing; the perspective really did help. After quickly putting on the boots, I opened the curtain with dramatic flair and smiled at Vani’s reflection in the giant, three-piece mirror.
She was wearing a light cotton dress with a little filigree along the wide collar and wrists. It was pale pink, floor-length and plain. Standing on the raised platform with her hands resting gently on her stomach, she looked like a statue. “You look like a Greek goddess,” I murmured as I came up behind her, wrapped my arms around her, and put my hands over hers.
Smiling at us, she whispered, “And you look like a sexy pirate.”
“Haha, I just need a hat now,” I replied, resting my chin on her shoulder and swaying from side to side with the quiet music dropping from hidden speakers.
“Actually, this will fit perfectly,” Vani stated slyly as she pulled out a long gold-embroidered coat from a hidden hook and tucked it around my shoulders, “and I think I saw a hat out front.” I put my arms through the jacket and she did the clasp in front before smiling. Picking up my hands and holding them out between us, she checked out the edges of the outfit in the full light, pulling one of the ruffled sleeves out.
Leaning in, I kissed her lightly before murmuring, “I love you so much.”
Vanessa tried to keep smiling, but her eyebrows knitted together and she dropped my hands so she could hold her stomach again. “What if I’m showing?” she asked, turning to look at herself in the mirror again.
Sensing that she wanted to stand alone, I offered, “Well, I mean, we could tell her.”
We’d gone round and round in circles on this topic too many times to count. “It’s her wedding, I can’t do that to her,” she muttered, turning to see if the dress showed anything. When she looked back at me, she cried quietly, “Besides, this is the third time, Kai. I can’t, I just can’t. If I have to tell one more person about a failed pregnancy I just, I-”
“Hey, hey,” I murmured, putting my arms back around her and pulling her close, “I get it, Vani. I do.” We stayed like that as she quietly sobbed into my shirt. When she stopped crying, I pulled back a little to look into her eyes and whispered, “Look, if you’re showing, we’ll deal with it and, and I’ll tell her. Day of the wedding, during the toast, I will call her on her honeymoon if I have to.”
Smiling, she reached up to brush my cheek. “I love you,” she murmured, tears still rolling from her eyes.
“I love you, too,” I replied and kissed her again. This time, I pulled away and whispered, “You have to go away or I’m gonna start crying and I don’t know if I have enough lung space to sob.” Chuckling, she wiped her eyes and disappeared behind another curtain.
I stood adjusting the sleeve on my shirt to make sure it was visible until I spotted a flash of embroidered ivory silk and looked up the hallway. Standing like a large white bell was Vanessa’s twin sister, Natalie. She was looking in one of the too-many mirrors in the dress emporium.
I ran up the steps and beamed at her; she looked so happy. Glancing at the curtain Vani had disappeared behind, I cleared my throat and asked, “Hey, Nat, can I talk to you?” When she looked over, I looked behind me again.
Nodding, she replied, “Yeah, sure. What are you doing?”
“Oh, uh, Vani isn’t right behind me, right?” I asked, feeling hot under the bright lights and too many layers of heavily embroidered fabric.
“No, I don’t see her,” she murmured, glaring down the hall.
I looked at the nearest door, leading to the “Midnight Garden” and opened it. “This way, ma’am,” I announced, bowing her through the wide doorway. Inside, it was a vaulted ceiling with fake dark blue and green plants crawling the walls, faux marble pillars, and a large cabinet overflowing with props. This room was used for wedding and celebration photos; there were dozens of themed rooms like this in the store.
“I know you’re not my biggest fan,” I began as soon as the door was closed. I needed to talk to Nat before Vanessa realized I was missing and I was so nervous and pacing.
“No, it’s, it’s not that. It’s just,” she started, sitting down on a small stool and letting the hoops of her dress flop to the side. She looked like a melting ice cream cone. Exasperated, she sighed, “Vani has never been this serious with someone before and I guess, I guess I’m just worried about, about-” She cut herself off and motioned mutely with her lace gloved hands.
“-heartbreak,” I murmured, nodding, “I get it.” She smiled as I briefly stopped moving around. We were on the same page. “Especially with the miscarriage and everything,” I added, still unable to talk about it without the back of my eyes prickling. I started pacing again, taking a wide circle around a wishing well full of glittering underlit glass.
Nat sniffed and murmured, “She uh, she told me about the other one, too.”
Again, I stopped and stared at her. Sighing, I chuckled, “I uh, I didn’t know that. I uh, she was really broken up about it for a really long time. It was, the second one, was really, really tough to get through and I guess with all the baby stuff we just kinda forgot about, well, about this stuff.” I was motioning mutely to her dress and the plants and the arbour. “You know?” I asked, finally carefully sitting down on a wooden bench.
Chuckling, Natalie asked, “You wanna get married? I actually did not see that coming.” Not that we knew each other that well, but I’d gotten to know Vani’s sister at an almost-friend level in the last few years. “You just don’t seem the type, you know, the, the,” she struggled, looking just like her sister searching for a word.
“The settling down type?” I suggested. I’d heard that a million times before.
Shaking her head, she replied, “No, no. You can settle down without the piece of paper. Your conviction is all you need. You don’t need the big, public commitment thing because you, you love her unconditionally and completely.” She was smiling as I tried to sniff impending tears away. “And I know Vani, she doesn’t care as long as she’s with you. She’s madly in love, Kai,” Nat concluded in her puffy, elaborate wedding dress.
It took me a couple of minutes to gather myself again. I knew all these things but I didn’t realize Natalie did. Still sniffing a bit, I murmured, “I just want her to have that fairytale wedding she’s always wanted. I want her to have everything she has ever wanted and ever will want. Everything.” Tears were still streaming down my cheek and I bit my lip. Sighing, I nodded and continued, “And I remember at Jason’s wedding, you two, and that was so cute and I don’t want to steal any of your thunder or anything so if you’re not okay I will obviously make other-”
Natalie held up a hand to cut me off. “If this is you simultaneously asking me for my sister’s hand and asking if you can propose at my wedding, then yes on both counts. As long as you let me help,” she replied to my beating-around-the-bush method. Standing and hiking up the bell skirt, the bride-to-be held a hand out to help me up. “Also, great outfit. Vani wouldn’t let me see it until you tried it on,” she commented, looking me over. “She didn’t want you to feel like you had to wear it just because I loved it. But it is exactly you, I think,” she added as we headed back into the main store area.
“Alright, my one and only request from you as the bride, your gift to me, is to show me the ring. Come on, Kai,” Natalie whined as we stood in the dressing room waiting for the first dance song to start. The last three weeks had been dotted with simple planning for my proposal and it had all culminated in this moment for Natalie; finally seeing the piece of jewelry her sister would be wearing for the rest of her life. Somehow, in all the wedding preparation time and massive headaches that this kind of undertaking had been, Nat had managed to keep her attention on me and the ring.
Sighing, I murmured, “Alright. I guess I’ll just send the hand-crafted bassinet back.” She stared at me and I rolled my eyes. “Fine. You wanna see it?” I muttered, pulling a small, square box out of the inside pocket of my jacket and passing it over to her. Resting in deep indigo velvet was an oval pendant engraved with waves and stars encompassing a two-tone stone.
“Is that labradorite?” Natalie gasped, touching the cold stone surface. When I nodded, she asked, “You made this?” Again, I nodded, feeling my cheeks getting hot. “You don’t like convention, do you? But it is stunning.” She shut the box and handed it back.
“You’re right,” I replied as I carefully put the pendant back in my pocket, “I don’t like to be conventional. Though, in this case, it’s all about practicality.” Thinking back to crafting a few rings that just weren’t going to work, I smiled at Natalie’s inquisitive expression. “With her arthritis, I knew a ring wasn’t going to be a symbol of our love; she wouldn’t be able to wear it. This is a mix of the two of us; she’s this airy, starstruck dreamer and I’m this, this grounded, roiling mess stuck in an emotional ocean,” I mused as the band did a couple of tests.
“Have you picked out rings or no rings at all?” Natalie asked, bouncing on her toes.
Nodding, I replied, “Well, I’ve made a couple. They have this same engraving on the sides and Vani’s is adjustable. I know it’s not the ‘circle of love’ thing, but I think it could work, you know, for us.” I chuckled and added, “Or maybe no rings at all. I’ll talk to her about it. See what she thinks. Well, after this.” Butterflies had been forming in my stomach for hours and now that the time was here, I was petrified.
Finally, the music started up and it was time. There wasn’t anything more to think about, any planning I could put into it; this was it. Taking Nat’s hand, I pushed the double doors open and stepped onto the top marble step of the garden. Across the way, a waterfall feature was catching the last bits of sunlight as it died beneath the waves of the ocean. The lovely sound played perfectly with Natalie’s favourite song and I smiled at her. She was waving with tears streaming down her face; so happy.
When we reached the sunken center of the dancefloor, her new husband stepped up and bowed, reaching for her hand. I gently handed her over and stepped out of the limelight as everyone clapped and a few of Natalie’s college friends whooped. Siddling to the closest table, I sat down beside Nat’s mother and she wrapped her arm around my shoulders. Just after the proposal, she’d lost her husband and they had to rethink a lot of the aspects of the wedding that had been geared towards him; it took months to decide who would step in to walk her down the aisle and longer to decide who would have the father’s dance. Jason had walked his sister down the aisle and I was taking the dance part. It certainly wasn’t because Jay couldn’t manage more than an off-beat sway.
Giving my future mother-in-law’s hand a gentle squeeze as the song neared the end, I stood up and swayed at the edge of the top step. It ended and I stepped forward, taking back Natalie’s hand for a short song as her husband went out to find Vani. The band leader announced the father-daughter dance and there was scattered applause and laughter; those who knew Jason would definitely understand why I was taking on this particular responsibility.
“Thank you so much for doing all this extra stuff,” I whispered to Nat as we swung around.
Smiling, she replied, “I see how happy you two make each other. Now all you’ll need is a kid.” I wanted to tell her so badly that we were expecting, especially because Vani was starting to show in the dress, but I knew we had to wait it out.
As the song neared the end, I spotted Vanessa looking uncomfortable and unsure beside Natalie’s husband and I bowed to Nat as he led my future wife down the steps and into the light. The couple departed and I cleared my throat. “Uh, this has been a beautiful union of two of my favourite people, but I thought there was one thing that could make it even more special. These last few years have been the best of my life, Vanessa, just being with you. And I wanted to make sure that I get to spend the rest of them with you, too,” I began in as loud a voice as I could muster with everyone staring at me. Vani was standing there with a shocked look on her face; exactly how Nat had looked. Bending my knee, wishing I wasn’t wearing four layers, I pulled the box out and continued, “I know we’re not exactly conventional, but I love us anyway. I love you, Vani. Will you marry me?”
The next few moments were like a slow-motion silent film. She took a breath, bit her lip, and mouthed the word you never wanted to hear after that question. Then, in a flash, she was gone, and I was left in this horrible, uncomfortable silence. Blinking, I remained there for ages, so long that Natalie had to help me up and out of the way, still in a silent bubble. I think she was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear her.
Finally, the world came back up to speed and Natalie was murmuring about Vanessa being in shock. I took a breath and pushed past her on the way to the main building. Bolting up the stairs and down the hall towards the room Vani and I had been in the last couple of days, I stood there for a moment with my hand raised to knock. What if she wasn’t there and I was knocking at an empty room? What if she’d found someone else? What if? I had to stop myself from spiralling and took another breath.
Trying the handle, the door opened; it was unlocked. I stepped inside the spacious room and shut the door behind me. At the side of the bed, Vanessa was piling her clothes back into her bright yellow suitcase, tears drying in layers on her cheeks.
When she spotted me, she picked up the pace and I crossed the room. Grabbing her wrist so she’d stop, I asked, “Hey, wait a sec, what happened?” She stared up at me and sobbed. I wrapped my arm around her and whispered, “Is it because you’re showing?” That had been a huge problem for her before, but it didn’t seem like something to get this upset about.
Shaking her head, she knocked my arm off and gasped, “No. I uh, I remember this feeling, Kai.”
I blinked. “Feeling?” I asked, unsure what she was talking about.
Vanessa bit her lip, shoved the suitcase, and sat down on the bed. “I think I lost the baby,” she sighed heavily.
For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. “Oh, I’m so, so sorry. Vani,” I murmured, taking a seat next to her and pulling her onto my shoulder. Stroking her back as she sobbed, I repeated, “I am so, so sorry.” This continued for several minutes before she sniffled and blew her nose. In the quiet, I asked, “What can I do?”
“I have to get out of here,” she replied between quiet sobs.
Nodding, I started, “Okay, I’ll just grab some-”
“No,” she stated, sitting up straight and looking at me, “I have to go without you.” Her crystal eyes shone as she continued, “I have to leave you. I can’t, I can’t give you what you want.” Standing, she zipped the suitcase and tried to avoid my gaze.
I stood up and grabbed her wrist, turning her to look at me. “What are you talking about, Vani?” I asked.
Sniffling, she sighed, “You wanted a baby and I just, I can’t. It’s just not happening.”
Holding her hands, I shook my head. “Oh, babe, I don’t care about any of that as long as I’m with you. I love you,” I replied sternly. When she still didn’t seem convinced, I continued, “I wanted you to have a baby for you. Because that’s what you’ve always wanted but I’d be just as happy with adoption or surrogacy. I don’t care if it’s ours, as long as it’s healthy and you’re happy.” I couldn’t believe she didn’t know all that.
“But you’ve always wanted a baby,” she murmured.
Chuckling, I replied, “I do. And we will. But, first, let’s get you taken care of.” I kissed her on the forehead and whispered, “I love you, Vani. Whether we have kids or not won’t ever change that.”
When I looked down, she was still looking worried. Biting her lip, she stated, “Actually, before any of that, you need to go out on that balcony and let everyone know the wedding is on.” Before I could argue, she held up a hand and added, “I’ll be fine for a few extra minutes, Kai.”
A minute later, I was standing on the darkened balcony with the band leader asking everyone to look up for a moment. I dropped down on my knee again and opened the box. When Vanessa actually looked at the pendant, she smiled and nodded. We hugged. Everyone clapped and cheered. Then we were off to the hospital. It was unconventional, just like us. It was perfect.
Pretty Twisted Mirrors 