Baby Names

            “Seriously? After your mom?” she groaned, rolling her eyes like a teenager.

            He shuffled his feet, stifling a smile, and replied, “Clarice is a great name. She can be Claire or Clary when she’s little, then she’ll have a great, strong name when she grows up.” Touching his wife’s shoulder lovingly, he looked down at their daughter.

            With a sniffle, she asked, “But does she really look like a Clarice?” Gently stroking the baby’s head as she cradled her, the mother pouted.

            “Well, I kinda think she looks like a potato, so perhaps I’m not the best to make that determination,” he murmured. As soon as the word came out of his mouth, he knew it was a mistake; but you can’t just stop halfway through a sentence and you can’t just take words back.

            Glaring at her husband, she growled, “Did you just call our daughter a potato?” What had been a few wonderful minutes together was quickly turning into a nightmare.

            “I uh, it was uh, you know,” he mumbled, stepping slowly away from the bed and wondering how far he’d have to run to get away from the murderous look in his wife’s eye. “Joke, yeah, it was a, it was just a joke, honey,” he stammered as he reached the doorway.

            Just as he was fumbling for the knob, the door opened, and a nurse walked in with a wide grin. “How are mommy and baby doing this morning?” she cooed, glancing awkwardly at the husband. Raising her eyebrows, she asked, “And how’s daddy, today?” There was a weird tone to her voice as she addressed the man cowering from his wife.

            “He just called our sweet baby a potato,” the woman growled, still staring angrily at her husband.

            Nodding, the nurse replied, “How about you let me take her for a little nap and you can have a rest? We can try feeding in a couple hours, but mommy needs her sleep right now.” Gently plucking the babe from her mother’s arms and caressing her all the way to the cradle, the nurse adjusted the bed so it was lying back. “There we go, mommy, off to dreamland,” she cooed as the woman started to snore right away.

            “How did you do that?” the husband asked, incredulous.

            The nurse just chuckled on her way out and replied, “I’ve been working with new mothers for a long time.”