Tree Rings & Fire

As I shimmied along the ledge with my bare toes feeling out the best stone, my canvas bag bounced on my knee, tempting the thundering shower of water to soak it. It took a little finesse to get under the falls without getting soaked and not every trip was positive; I used to keep a few slightly-damp towels on the other side in case of mishaps and missteps. Ducking under the last little bit, I was greeted by a warm fire and the strong scent of burning herbs. Holding my hand up, I did a short incantation and wiggled my fingers. There is no less ridiculous way to describe some steps in magical casting. An inhuman, chortling sound came across my lips as I blew out, echoing like a flock of birds were unsettled somewhere in the cave. Dropping my hand, the sound stopped and I stood rolling on my heels.

“Took you long enough,” muttered a tall woman in a deep, creaking voice as she stepped out from behind a towering stalagmite of solid quartz. As she came into the light, I could make out the weathered bark of her dark face; she was like a tree come to life. Her eyes were drops of amber set in front of a flame and her fingers clasped a long, green staff with leaves sprouting from it. Covering her wooden body were layers of moss and leaves draping like a living dress.

Smiling, I replied with a slight bend of my knee, “Elowen. Good to see you again. You’re growing well.”

She pursed her lips and sighed, “I still don’t know why I’m here, Aster. I don’t appreciate being summoned without cause, especially to this side of the portal. And in particular when it’s by a-”

“-a human. I know,” I cut her off smoothly. The Lady of the Trees and I had a, well, at times contentious relationship. Most of the time, though, it was very cordial; the key was not asking her for anything, which I was about to do.

“As the Keeper of the Gate, you ought to know better than to just lollygag around,” she continued in her older-than-dirt tone, “and what’s this spellwork here for?” She held her fingers near the bowls of fire I’d set up and glared into the light.

Clearing my throat, I replied, “Well, I have been at this for three centuries and sometimes I want a little vacation.” At that, she turned to set me with a look that would melt most mortals. “And since no one ever comes to relieve me, I thought I’d try out a little alert system,” I explained, trying to keep the childish whine out of my voice, “so if anyone tried to get through the portal, this circle would trap them and I would be alerted.” Still, the piercing look. “Look, I have left this cave for very brief periods to, you know, look out at the stars and enjoy life a little, but this spell could make it possible for me to have a real life,” I concluded.

Elowen put her hand on her hip and sighed, “Well, you know why you’re here. You know what you did to find yourself the Keeper out in the land of mortals.” In all the time we’d known one another, all the way back to my birth, Elowen had been like a second mother to me; she did the whole real-talk thing better than anyone I knew.

“Yeah, I did one stupid thing and I’m cursed to live forever out here, unable to leave,” I snapped, dropping my bag on a stone I used as a table. Turning, I waved my hand to part the waterfall. With a glance back at the tree woman, I made a running jump through the hole in the water. I soared through the air and a tinkling sound echoed in my mind and between the trees; it was horribly loud and everything around me sparkled like it was about to burst into flames.

Having stepped to the edge of the falls, Elowen called, “I meant to ask how you got out into the world!” Her voice boomed and made the nearby trees shiver with terror.

“Oh!” I gasped and turned. Taking a breath, I did the long incantation to break out of the containment spell, I moved my fingers and, one by one, the web of intricate and delicate spellwork fell off. When I stood there, free from its bonds, I turned my hand to create a tiny flame and dropped it into a nearby bush. Catching immediately, it spread into a ball of fire before I trounced it with another wave of my hand. I looked back at Elowen and shouted, “If memory serves me, the enchantment stopped me from doing damage to anything, magical or not.” She stayed silent. I chuckled and closed the hole in the falls before making the short journey back up the side of the cliff.

When I returned, she was standing with her back to me. “When did you create that spell?” she asked, sounding nervous. The only other time I’d heard that tiny waver in Elowen’s voice was the day I was exiled to this shitty job. It was like she couldn’t look at me.

I chuckled mirthlessly. Touching my mouth, I replied, “Hundred years ago, maybe. Perhaps a little longer.” Suddenly, she turned, uncertainty clear on her features. “You guys didn’t want me so why would I come back? I just use it to go out into the mortal world,” I sighed. Once, it had been painful; staying here. Now, this was home, kinda. This was pretty well all I’d ever known. “I’ve seen warriors and hunters and creatures of every claw and tooth come through here, even queens and knights. I’ve done the job you asked of me and requested nothing from any of you,” I continued, feeling the anger I’d felt centuries ago bubbling up again.

“Your sister came through when she was queen?” Elowen asked quietly. I’d found that tree folk tended to not, excuse the pun, beat around the bush, so this indirectness put me off a little.

Tempering the anger, I snapped, “I saw her once while she was queen, then I saw my great-niece, and then my great-grandniece. Neither of them knew who I was.” The Lady of the Trees was staring at her hands. “Do you know what that’s like? I was erased. They, you maybe, erased me,” I murmured, sitting down on a large rocky outcrop and trying very hard not to cry or throw something.

We stayed in a state of tension for ages before Elowen finally asked sheepishly, “Perhaps you’ve been erased as the princess, but I’ve heard a tale several times perpetuated by people I would largely rely on for such information of a monster at the end of the world.” She was staring at me now, the vine-y tendrils flowing from her head swayed gently. “They made it sound like there was a horrifying, destructive beast in a dark castle, but I saw no such thing,” she continued, watching my expression, “and I certainly wasn’t caught up in something’s web.”

Nodding, I stood up and stretched my arms. I smiled at the tree woman and threw my right fist into my open left palm. The world shook, thunder cracked, and the cave around us dissolved into a jagged black obsidian castle. Where there had been a tiny room, there was a huge, cavernous throne room fit for a queen. Above our heads, a charred bone chandelier swayed lightly with candles burning. Candelabras all over the room cast bright light as gaping, organic holes punched through the stone let in natural light. I moved my hand and the doors behind me opened on a sharp outcropping of a balcony and I turned to face the sun.

“How did you-?” Elowen began, but I was taking a run toward the edge of the tower and didn’t hear her.

As my toes left the ground, I whispered the familiar, transformative words and took the leap. Spreading my arms out, my skin turned to stone-hard scales and webbing stretched into wings across my arms. Claws and teeth grew sharper and longer, and suddenly everything was fiery and hard. I flexed my wings just before I touched the ground and dove up into the air before Elowen’s shocked face. Touching down just inside the door, I padded thunderously to the middle of the room and blew a few fire rings at my chandelier. I could see the tree woman was sufficiently terrified so I smiled with sword-sized teeth and took a deep breath. The journey back was a little more painful, but I was always happy to have fingers and fully-functioning vocal cords; using telepathy to speak to people was annoying.

“I recognize that I wasn’t the right choice for queen, I really do, but I will not concede that I am far more powerful than my sister ever was,” I murmured as I shut the doors again and walked barefoot into a smaller room. This one had several expansive windows that made Elowen gasp. On the left was a view from the cliff on the other side of the portal; it was a stunning view of a large swath of the kingdom. The middle was inside the actual throne room. The right was of the ocean back home. It sparkled in the fading sunlight. Because of the twelve-hour time difference, it was morning here and soon-to-be night there. Sighing, I explained, “The mortals can only see the falls; they’re in the basement, basically.” The woman was just staring out into the world. “The containment spell only works on me when I’m there, but I don’t go out of my way to cause destruction. I may have stopped a few adventurers from getting through, but I think I was doing this world a service,” I added, sitting down on the bench in the middle of the room.

For a long while, we remained stationary. Elowen seemed in shock. I was trying to forget about everything I’d been so mad about; I’d pushed it down for so long that when it did pop up, it was almost explosive. Centuries later, the scars were still pretty fresh. I forgot them sometimes, hid them from the world and myself.

Finally, I felt calm enough to stand next to Elowen and, together, we watched a lone knight crossing the throne room with a large iron lantern. Sometimes I missed normal, boring stuff like that; it was nostalgic.

Clearing my throat, I changed the subject for us both, “To get back to the issue at hand, Elowen, as the Keeper of the Gate, I have to inform your side of the portal that it’s in danger.”

She looked at me and frowned. “What do you mean?” she asked, cobwebs of home falling from her mind.

“Mortal development, I’m afraid,” I replied, heading back to my throne room and leading the tree woman down the winding staircase and out the front door. The black obsidian rose up and around the original waterfall, encasing it entirely but leaving the entire surrounding intact; I didn’t dare alter it. Instead of a simple cliff face, it was now a cliff with a large stalagmite protruding out from the front of it, engulfing a large portion of the front like a dragon. We wandered down the long trail on the edge, taking sudden switchbacks every few minutes.

“Not very wagon-friendly,” Elowen commented when we finally arrived at the base. She was staring up at the massive, obtrusive building.

Chuckling, I replied, “I don’t get many visitors, anyway. And, even if I did, I probably wouldn’t get them from that side of the Gate.” I headed off between two trees and plucked my way along, ducking branches and jumping bushes. “It’s about two hours south,” I called back to the tree woman, pulling a phone out of my pocket. When I turned back, she was gone so I stopped and searched for good, mortal road trip music. I put on some Hendrix and slid the phone back into my pocket, working a small, powerful spell. After a few seconds, the guitar riff rippled through the trees and the world was alight with screaming strings, crashing drums, and deep beats.

Elowen finally caught up to me and we headed out as she stared around, searching for musicians. I let her be confused for a good half hour before finally explaining, “Transference and amplification charm, if you’re wondering.”

“Of your own device?” she asked, staring at me as I hummed along with a rocking Tragically Hip ballad. I nodded and kept on walking. She struggled to catch up to me and gasped, a little out of breath for a tree, “Have you written any of your custom spells down? In a book, perhaps?”

I stopped and she almost ran into me. Shaking my head, I snapped, “What? You wanna take my genius back with you? Tell everyone there that I should have had the throne? That I would have had the power to prevent three wars and hundreds of casualties over the years?” My anger was bubbling up again.

“Well, I mean, maybe it could be-” she started before fading away, uncertain what to say.

I cut her off as she found her voice, “Could be a bargaining chip? For my freedom?” For a moment, I was too angry to speak. “Or servitude? You could let them know who’s been protecting them all these years,” I growled, wanting to hurt her and the whole damn world I left behind. But I had a new job, so I just added, “I don’t serve you anymore. I protect this place from you, from your side.”


The next hour and a half, neither of us spoke. Birds and squirrels chatted with one another overhead as the music I was playing echoed around us; this was like my heaven. Sunlight dripped from overhead leaves in intricate, organic patterns on the mossy forest floor. Trees swayed here and there to the natural rhythm of the world.

When we reached the point where I could just barely hear the construction, I stopped and turned off the music. I stood staring up into the trees expectantly until Elowen asked, “What?”

Chuckling, I stepped up to a tree and placed my hand on the rough bark, shutting my eyes. “Oh, Lady of the Trees, can you not hear them screaming?” I purred, opening my eyes and looking at the woman.

She shook her head and replied, “No, Aster, I can’t. They aren’t alive, not like they are back home.” Frowning, she added, “There’s energy, but not that kind of life.”

I straightened and grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards the tree. “That’s where you’re wrong. Come, put your hand here,” I commanded, pressing her fingers against the trunk and taking a step backward.

For a few seconds, she stood listening, feeling. “No, all I can hear is your heartbeat. You’re stressed, worried,” she finally murmured.

“That’s not me. That’s the trees. But, yeah, I am worried. About this world,” I sighed, listening for anything larger than a raccoon amongst the underbrush; I didn’t have an invisibility charm that would definitely work on Elowen so we needed to steer clear of construction workers. “But really feel it, Elowen,” I pleaded, “Tap into that, these trees are all connected.” I couldn’t figure out a better way to help her understand this place, this world. “Look, they speak to each other, just in a different way than the ones back home. Even I can hear it sometimes,” I continued, trying to convince her with everything I had.

She shut her eyes and put both hands on the trunk, her fingers entwining across the surface as she listened. “They’re humming?” she murmured with uncertainty.

I smiled. I’d finally gotten through to her. Nodding though I knew she was focusing still, I replied, “Talking, that’s talking.”

As she continued to link with the towering tree, she spoke in a sort of trance, “It’s not in a language I can comprehend.” Breaking free, she looked around at the trees as though she expected to see a familiar face but didn’t. Suddenly, she furrowed her brow and looked at me. “That’s how you feel here? Like you’re speaking a different language?” She was the maternal woman I’d known for so long again, caring, forgiving.

“It was,” I replied, breathing around the lump in my throat, “But then I started listening to the music. The music is just fantastic. Stunning.” Emotions were roiling; not just anger, but love and peace and good things, deep things.

Smiling, she prompted, “Like that, what we were listening to?”

I nodded and continued, letting the emotions left over from the music sparkle in my words like sea glass left on the beach after high tide, “Yeah, but there’s also music with so much heart you can’t stand it. You can feel the pain and the exultation and the horror, the sadness, the joy. Through their music, the mortals have immortalized their deepest emotions, encased them in the fragile plastic of CDs and records. It’s like life everlasting, music.” Before I was entirely overtaken by the mere memories of music, I cleared my throat and pointed through the trees. “It’s uh, it’s just over there. The trees are talking about destruction, they’re pleading for it to stop,” I murmured, trying to block out the noise.

“What are the mortals doing?” Elowen asked in her official tone.

Holding my arms out, I replied, “They’re building housing through this whole area.” When she blinked at me with her eyebrows raised, I tried a different tactic. “They’re expanding their territory and creating a new settlement,” I tried in colloquial terms, “Generally, they cut everything down and then build their little buildings and streets before putting in a few new, manicured trees and shrubs.”

Nodding, she asked, “But they can’t see the castle?”

I chuckled and replied, “True, but they can destroy it and the waterfall. They want to, in their plans, use the river as part of the design of a kind of creekside oasis. But that means segmenting it behind the waterfall to have better control and flow down the way.” Elowen was trying to picture a modern mortal settlement without ever seeing one so I cut to the punchline, “They’re going to stop the flow of water from our world because the falls won’t go through the cave anymore. Actually, there probably won’t be a cave anymore”

“Oh,” she murmured, understanding the issue now, “So?”

I cleared my throat and sighed, “Well, we don’t know what would happen if magic stopped flowing here.”

Rolling her eyes, she explained in her most condescending tone, “Dear, the magic coming through is just overflow and it only affects the direct vicinity.”

I shook my head. “No, it doesn’t. I took a trip across the world and, guess what? Magic worked, in full,” I snapped, feeling hot again. Taking a deep breath, I added, “This world is saturated with a low level of magic. I have no idea what would happen if that stopped. Or if the portal were destroyed.”

Elowen started to walk back and I followed, trying to force the anger to ebb by expending energy; it worked, to a degree. “Then we would keep all the magic, Aster,” she finally sighed as though it were the most obvious and correct option. “Who’s side are you even on?” she muttered under her breath.

Running up in front of her, I threw my hands up to stop her. “Again, Elowen, our worlds are intertwined. I think this world acts as a kind of filter,” I explained. When she glared at my hands, I dropped them and continued, “The magic is unstable on the cliff back home above where the waterfall is, right?” She nodded. “Well, this world skims just enough off the top to allow the magic our world has to be useful. We have to do something.”

“Fine, what would you like me to do?” she asked, centuries of rings in her eyes. I shut my eyes and cast us both back into the throne room of my castle so we could speak more freely than that close to the mortals. Chuckling as she stared around us, she snapped, “You could have done that to get us there instead of walking two hours?”

I laughed and nodded before getting back on track. “Send someone, Elowen. Tell someone. Do something,” I pleaded, taking her rough hands in mine. Nodding, I muttered, “I can’t protect both worlds all by myself anymore. And I shouldn’t have been asked to.” I dropped her hands and stared at the throne I’d built for myself out of stone.

After a minute of consideration, Elowen suddenly commented, “You won’t become queen.”

Scratching my head, I turned back to her with a fire trying to burn through me. “I don’t want the throne, the real one. I don’t want to be anything or beholden to anyone,” I replied quietly. I chuckled and noted, “If I wanted the throne, I’m pretty sure I could have just taken it, you tree. I could have burned through your forest and killed anyone that didn’t want to bow.” The dragon in me was rearing its head in those words; I didn’t let it out much for that reason. It could protect us all, but it could also destroy everything if I didn’t keep a handle on it. “Really, I want someone, anyone, to help me fix this and then I would be happy to never speak to any of you again,” I stated, pushing the monster in me down again.

“Why me?” she gasped, still looking shocked from my well-mannered outburst.

Growling, I asked, “What do you mean?”

She searched for the right words and clarified, “Why summon me, specifically? You know lots of people over there, still. You know who’s alive with this window spell.”

I smiled. “The trees,” I murmured. Throwing the doors open to the balcony, I continued, “I thought you’d be the most receptive because, even if they aren’t in the same world or speak the same language, the trees here are your responsibility, too. It’s all one forest, Elowen.” I stepped out onto the jagged stone to survey my pseudo kingdom. When I turned back, I let the dragon’s eyes and claws come out to solidify my unspoken threat. “Even if you don’t care, you need to go back and make a big issue out of it, Elowen. Mountain out of a molehill,” I demanded, letting anger flow through. Tilting my head, I chuckled and made a pun, “Make a castle out of a cave, maybe.”

Camp Nano – Short Story #4

Lost

*For Camp Nanowrimo this April, I plan on writing 10 short stories that fall into different genres & elicit different emotions. Because I’m planning on editing them as I go, I’ll be posting a whole short story every ~3 days.*

The tavern was practically shaking as the werewolf, furry ears poking through her short auburn hair, and dwarf, his facial hair twisted and braided ornately, danced a drunken jig on the bar’s stone counter. Spinning and swinging as he deftly plucked at a dented lute, the bard led a triad of tavern minstrels through a lively ballad; he wouldn’t tell anyone, but he was utilizing an enchantment so the backup band would be in tune with him. Only a well-practiced mage would recognize the sigils carved into the side of his instrument. In the far corner, beyond a veil of magical mist meant to obscure the most unsavoury of backroom deals, I could see just the sheath protecting the elf’s sword where it hung on the coatrack and the tip of the archer’s bow as it rested against the wall. Beside me, a tracker named Wren was blithering on about how she found a lost hedgehog yesterday.

To be fair, it wasn’t the most inexperienced troupe I’d been on a quest with, but they were the least congruent by a long shot. Resting my head against the edge of my cold mug of iced ginger tea, I turned to stare at my companion; she hadn’t appeared to notice that, throughout the whole evening of pre-quest revelry, I hadn’t spoken a single word to her.

“I’m heading to my chambers. Tell them I’ll see them just before sunrise at the entrance to town,” I murmured to Wren as she continued to chatter like a squirrel. Perhaps she’d admitted she was part-squirrel and I’d missed it in all the inane chatter.

When I got up to leave, resting a single bronze coin on the counter and taking my mug with me, Wren stared with big, doe eyes. “What? You can’t go yet. The celebrations are just starting,” she whined, gesturing at the drunken members of our party still engaging in the merrymaking of hired hands. Live fast, die young was the motto of these chartered questing types.

Chuckling, I touched her shoulder in the hopes of performing a nonverbal illusion charm. When it didn’t work and the awkward time staring at her grew too long, I dropped my hand and left. Lately, I’d been really struggling with my enchantments; even ritualistic, verbal ones were fizzling out, which was concerning with a big mission in the offing. I skillfully ducked behind a couple splitting a sundae so my colleagues wouldn’t spot me and left the tavern. Draining my tea as I wandered out into the chilly night air, I threw the container into a bush.

Instead of going up to the lodging I had booked for the night, I left the warm light and garbled noises of the pub for the shadowy, subdued solitude inside the town’s quaint magical sanctuary. For such a small town on the outskirts, I was mildly surprised that they had a place of worship for those of us in the magical arts; it was humble but welcomed me with a swell of comforting energy as I stepped foot inside the doors. Unlike churches, these dedicated refuges were created so anyone from any line of learning could access protection and power. Their basic shapes were specific to the township, as well as their material properties, but they all pulled from sacred geometry to create convergences of energy. Back home, we had a series of them posted all over the metropolis with various magical properties and dedications. Most of the mages I knew tended to frequent one for their entire lives, while druids and other nature-minded folk went where they felt the draw of energy at any time.

Unbuckling my cloak, I cast the heavy fabric across a hand-carved wooden chair to the side of the cathedral. In all my time as a mage, I’d found it nearly impossible to do any big casting with long sleeves hanging around my hands, so I was forever ridding myself of my cloak. In the same vein, I despised the superfluous material of flowing skirts, but found people didn’t take me seriously if I presented too manly; something about feminism that I would willfully never understand. As such, I bunched up the skirts of my dress and knelt at the alter, shutting my eyes and attempting to channel the energies housed within the building. Meditation came easily, but the gentle tinkle of power never did.


“I’ve procured us five horses,” the archer, Sirpa, explained, pointing to the row of sturdy quarter horses hitched outside the building between the town’s entrance and the bar everyone appeared to have spent all night at. His thin leather armour shifted as he opened the coin pouch given to our party by our middleman and counted out the remainder. Slipping it back into the inside pocket of his vest, he added, “As usual, they gave us a small stipend and the rest will come upon delivery of the uh, well, completion of the quest.” Seeming a man of few words, with was perfect for a leader, he let loose the first horse and skillfully swung himself onto the saddle. He adjusted the blanket under the tight leather and started towards the main road.

Looking around at the company, our bard, Ozan, asked, “Uh, not to bring up a sore spot, boss, but there are seven of us, not five. And, uh, I ain’t walkin’ to the mountain.” He was inching closer and closer to the horses with every second, prepared to commandeer one of the steeds if there was a fight.

Chuckling, Sirpa growled, “Well, if I say you will, you will, bard.” Clearly, they knew each other in a negative capacity.

“Me and Pippi are gonna go it on foot,” replied the werewolf as she elbowed the dwarf in the shoulder and adjusted her canvas backpack. When she glanced at the horses, their eyes widened and she chuckled, “It’ll be faster that way, anyhow.” Conall was a well-known and generous pack leader around my own township, but we’d never actually crossed paths. Even in fully human form, she had a wild look in her eyes and her hair was scruffy and matted. But the most intriguing part of her, to a lot of people, was that she could shift at a moment’s notice; she was the only natural werewolf anyone knew of with that gene. One of my apprentices had even created a talisman using her blood that completely irradicated involuntary transformations. It had done wonders for the werewolf populations the kingdom over. Though still defined as a curse and ridiculed widely, it was easier for them to hide their affliction if they so chose.

Fiore, an elven warrior I was sure I’d met on several occasions, got on the next horse gracefully; she draped herself over the back and appeared to fall asleep as her mount followed Sirpa’s.

As the others took their horses, I hung back, focusing on the knot tied tightly around the hitching post. Glaring at the rope, I held my hand out and willed it to loosen. I wasn’t even trying to convince it to fall off, just to slacken the knot a little.

“Are you coming, Nua?” Wren asked excitedly as she held her horse back from joining the group. No one else had noticed my lagging behind, which suited me just fine. Our tracker couldn’t spend all her time at the back of the pack, though, or we’d never get where we needed to go. I was about to point this out when she whispered, “Sorry, Nua, but I really have to get going,” and hurried on down the dirt road, bouncing in the saddle like a child on their first ride.

I groaned, tore the rope from the post, and slid my boot into the stirrup. As I swung up into the saddle, I pulled half of my dress and cloak around so they weren’t hanging off the side; normally, I used a simple reduction charm to temporarily slice off the ends of my clothing to make riding easier. Nudging the horse, I followed far enough behind the group that no one felt the need to drop to my speed so I could be alone with my thoughts, dark as they were.


For several hours, we went along the main thoroughfare, trudging through the occasional swampland or weaving through mazes of grass. Wren led the way, dropping to the ground and wandering in concentric circles when we needed to make a decision about direction. Strumming his lute, Ozan sang long ballads about great warriors and epic quests; he danced like a fool in his saddle during Wren’s impromptu breaks. Whenever I caught a glimpse of Fiore, she appeared to be sleeping. From what I knew of elves, that didn’t mean she couldn’t kill someone without a second’s thought, so I decided to keep my distance. Honestly, Conall and Pippi could have been eaten by a bear and I would have seen them the same amount over the first stretch of the journey.

When we finally stopped on the first night, the sun had been gone for about ten minutes and the creatures hiding in the woods around us were making their presence well known. Beyond the ditch was a flat spot where we lashed the horses to a few trees and Pippi looked expectantly at me. “Can you get the fire going while I cut a tree for kindling, Grand Mage?” he asked, addressing me respectfully.

Biting my lip, I croaked, “Uh, I’m preserving my energy in case we’re attacked. I could use my knife to start one, though.” I’d been afraid of them requesting a spell for hours.

“Oh, of course, Grand Mage,” he replied, smiling at me. Clearly, Pippi’s clan of dwarves had a better relationship with the magical community than the one in our kingdom did; they would never have addressed me like that or taken my word for anything. “I offer you my flintstone and freshly-sharpened blade,” he added, bowing as he passed the materials over before hefting his axe over his shoulder and examining the nearby trees. When he’d hewn a large tree into small enough pieces, the dwarf sat beside the firepit and waited to be fed as the rest of us tried to cobble together a campsite. It took me a couple of minutes to manage a spark, but he said nothing of my wretched analog skills. While I got the fire going, Wren took Fiore to hunt game and gather herbs for dinner. Lying on his back looking up at the stars as he plucked a sombre tune, Ozan glanced at me sideways.

Conall and Sirpa were dragging logs into the light to form a protective barrier around us when Ozan asked, “So, what’s a Grand Mage doing on a for-hire quest? Is it more important than it seems? Is there a plot happening? I mean, this is hardly the kind of place someone of your caste should find herself?” Thankfully, he didn’t question why I hadn’t offered to magic a fire or cast any protections around our troupe. Perhaps he thought I was doing everything I needed to, but still.

“I don’t know. I guess I was just tired of doing easy stuff. I mean, being a Grand Mage is great and I get to teach all kinds of people all houses of magic, but it’s gotten boring,” I mused, standing at the edge of the firepit. I wasn’t lying, exactly, but that wasn’t the whole truth and the bard seemed to realize that. Sighing, I added, “I am six-hundred and eighty-nine years old. I’ve had centuries to learn and grow and now, I don’t know. I’m just really tired. I guess I just wanted to have some fun.”

He grinned toothily, whistled, and murmured, “Wow, that’s some kind of spell to keep you alive that long.” Chuckling, he raised his eyebrow and glanced around to make sure no one was listening; the dwarf was snoring, and the lumberjacks were out of earshot. “Is it true that immortality spells like that require virgin sacrifices all the time?” he asked pointedly. In all my years, I’d met a lot of people who’d do anything for a taste of immortality. At least this one would be easy to vanquish, if the need arose, even without my powers.

“Well, it isn’t exactly an immortality spell,” I replied, shifting the conversation slightly, “But, yeah, the common ones require a lot of life energy and they’re really messy; hardly worth the few years you can manage to scrape out. You have to be very committed if you want to last more than a decade and make it worth it.” I had many friends who lacked the stomach to perform those kinds of rituals more than a few times in a lifetime.

“Wow. Guess that’s why you don’t have magicians like you living for centuries all the time, huh?” he joked, lying back and staring into the sky. As I thought I’d gotten out of explaining the whole truth, he turned over again and demanded, “So, if your spell isn’t like that, how was it done?”

Not many people knew the answer to that; not many who’d been alive in the last five centuries, anyway. Sighing, I started, “I spent decades trying to create a spell of immortality to cure my sister.” As I spoke, everyone arrived back at camp carrying heavy logs, bloodied rabbits, and piles of leaves. “Guess it’s rabbit for dinner, huh?” I changed the subject, happy for the distraction.

After a surprisingly great dinner of roasted rabbit and wilted greens cooked by Wren, we all took our corners of the campsite and tried to get comfortable under the heavy woollen saddle blankets. Ozan had the first watch and had been instructed not to fall asleep; his solution to this was to have a bucket of cold water beside him to throw on himself if he so much as yawned. It took a while, but everyone fell asleep eventually and even the fire drew quieter.

“Nua?” he asked, his tone polite and calm. Sniffing, I rolled over and tried to see him through the fire and smoke. He cleared his throat and asked, “Can you continue telling me about your immortality? My brother is a Fourth-Level Wizard and he’s been trying to crack that nut for longer than he’d like me to tell you. You don’t have to give me any of the gory details; I’d just like to be able to tell him it’s possible.”

I liked to keep my story to myself, but this experience was supposed to push me. Nodding, I pulled myself up and sat down on one of the logs, careful not to rouse any of the others. “My sister had a blood disease and I had to continually save her life. I thought that if I could create that spell, she could live and be happy,” I started again, thinking back to those painful years. The way she degraded and her eyes hollowed, the moments when she smiled, and when we danced in the field behind our house; they nearly took my breath away to recall. “I spent years learning magic and trying out spells and creating powerful enchantments and then, just like that, she died,” I continued as the bard stared at me.

Taking a sip from the bucket of water beside him, the bard inquired, “How long did you, you know, manage with her condition?”

For a moment, I struggled to remember that far back. It was centuries ago, and my memory wasn’t what it used to be. Nodding to myself, I replied, “Thirty-two years.” It seemed like a blink to me now, but three decades was a long time. “I kept at it after her passing. I just needed to prove that it couldn’t be done; I had to know absolutely that there was nothing more we could have tried,” I added, smiling sadly at the minstrel with his fingers just brushing the strings of his instrument; he appeared to have forgotten about it being there, swept up in my tragic tale.

“I’m really sorry,” he murmured quietly as the flames crackled between us.

Chuckling, I sighed, “It’s been centuries.” The pain could still be raw sometimes, but my wounds would heal one day.

“Obviously, you didn’t prove immortality was impossible,” Ozan commented, rolling onto his back again. He plucked a quiet lullaby as he hummed in a way a mother does to soothe her child in the deep, dark night.

“No, I didn’t; I proved it was very possible and very terrible,” I groaned. The only people I’d spoken candidly about my immortality were other magic users and they all had their theories on my methods; Ozan was naïve to the universe and it was easier to talk to him, knowing he wouldn’t really understand. Picking up a stick and poking at the edge of the fire, I continued, “It was another decade before I made a real breakthrough. I’d started dating this girl, Fiona, and her family owned part of a massive dwarf mine. Don’t ask.” Really, they got it through a relatively fair trade of property, but no one took my word for it; I probably wouldn’t, either, given the time period.

“During that time, I had come up with a mishmash enchantment and I was just trying every ingredient I could in this blank space I couldn’t figure out. I knew it was some kind of metal or ore, or maybe viscera, but nothing I was trying worked. I’d even spent months testing the blood of different species I could get my hands on to see if it would work,” I continued as I remembered the piercing taste of tin on my tongue after ages trying known metals. Ozan was watching me with interest as I resumed, “Anyway, one day we were sitting chatting about family heirlooms when she grinned sheepishly at me and gave me this ring.” Here, I showed him the simple band; at one point I’d considered having a stone set on it, but I enjoyed the simplicity compared to my other myriad of bejewelled ornaments. “Her father had made it out of slag from the gold mine. It had no worth and it was plain, but it gave me pause,” I added, “because no one used gold in alchemy. It was the pinnacle of material and so you had no use for it, magically. But, I tried it. The ring, anyway, with almost no real gold in it.

“I was able to reanimate a squirrel momentarily. I was stunned,” I chuckled, remembering the poor creature’s short-lived return from the dead. “I took a bit of gold, melted it into a pendant, and tried my enchantment on myself. I know you’re not supposed to do that, but I was at a kind of low point, so it seemed worth it,” I explained, feeling my cheeks flush. When I’d composed myself, I continued, “It was awesome, the power that flowed through me. Just amazing. I was going to tell the other mages in my sanctuary, but when you feel that kind of power, it takes hold, kinda.” From one low point to another. “I offered it to Fiona, and she didn’t want to. I respected her decision, which was probably the right one, and I started bracing for the day I had to say goodbye to her. I always knew it would be painful, but you can’t force your lover to live forever unless they actually want to. Not if you really love them,” I murmured, sinking into a reverie.

When I pulled myself out of it, I chuckled wryly, “It wasn’t until the moment Fiona actually died that I realized just how huge a mistake I’d made.”

There was a long silence where only the distant caws of nightshade birds and the cheerful, dying crackle of the fire pierced the night. When I was thinking about turning back over and going to sleep, or at least shutting my eyes, Ozan asked, “So, what makes this enchantment so special?”

“Well,” I began quietly, “I am impervious to any kind of death, not just old age. Most of those blood sacrifice ones are only good to help you live longer if you don’t go running into burning barns; I can withstand any kind of death.” Hearing it out loud somehow made it even more real, even after all this time. “I cannot die, which is why I hid the spell and destroyed the sigils I created for it,” I whispered, barely louder than the wind.

This quiet seemed deeper, as though the true horrors of that statement were appearing to the whole world and it was trembling under the weight. Immortality, true immortality, was a curse, not a gift.

“Obviously you’ve uh, you’ve you know?” Ozan broached the uncomfortable subject in a tone I knew well, and I realized this must be the real, deep him; that the overexcited, cheerful man I’d met the day before was nothing but a mask he wore. When I didn’t respond, he cleared his throat and reiterated, this time as a statement, “Uh, you’ve tried many ways to stop living.”

Chuckling to keep from crying, I replied, “Uh, yeah, I tried. But it didn’t work. Nothing worked. Nothing has ever worked. I’ve spent the last few decades trying to die and nothing works. I can’t watch anyone else die. I will not.” I took a breath as emotion began to overwhelm me. “I am lost because I’ve done everything I wanted to do and now I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost that, that innate pull to life. I haven’t felt it in decades, but it feels worse right now,” I murmured, feeling anger seep through the gloom. As it built, I snapped, “And right now my magic isn’t even working so what use am I, anyway?”

“You don’t have magic?” Ozan asked, staring at me as though he’d been able to see it shimmering in the air around me. Sitting up straight, he set his lute down and murmured, “I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard when the one thing you use to keep the demons at bay is suddenly gone.”

After a long minute of staring into the flames, feeling a sense of commiseration with the smiling bard, I whispered, “I’m heading to sleep. I think Sirpa’s turn is soon.” I turned over and pretended to sleep until the sun rose, shutting my eyes whenever someone was spelled off.

When the sun finally broached the tops of the trees, our troupe was relatively quiet, packing up in near silence before setting off towards the mountains. Just before midday, we started heading up a steep trail winding around the mountain, and within a couple of hours, we were trudging through snow. Sirpa asked if I could help with the cold, to which Pippi replied that I was already protecting us all and couldn’t afford to waste energy on trivial magic; clearly, he’d been sound asleep during my conversation with Ozan.

We stopped in a cave before the path veered out and around the other side of the mountain, where our mission would end. Starting a fire to warm up and reheat some leftover rabbit, our little party shivered in the inclement weather. After I’d taken my piece of meat, I stepped out into the chill wind to stabilize my emotions before the final leg of our journey.

“So, you want to kill yourself? That’s why you’re doing this? You have no magic, so you may as well die?” a hearty female voice asked. Conall stood a step or two inside the cave, but far enough from the group to keep our conversation private; she was chewing on a legbone with abnormally large canines. “And you’re willing to take all of us along with you, what, out of spite?” she spat.

Shaking my head, I replied, “I just, I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, you need to tell us if you can’t handle this because a dragon will burn us all to a crisp before you can speak a spell. Or, I suppose, wave your hands at it?” Conall growled, whining as she sucked the marrow from the bone. Nodding at my shaking fingers, she asked, “You gonna finish the marrow?”

Again, I shook my head and passed her the bone. As she headed back inside, I steadied myself to confront Sirpa. I cleared my throat and was about to ask for a word when he turned and grinned at me.

“Ah! I wanted to give you this sword, just in case,” he stated as he handed me a heavy longsword in a gilded sheath. Looking around at the rest of our group, he asked, “Does anyone else want an extra weapon? I brought a few just in case, so, take what you want.” Wren took him up on the offer, winking at me as she hooked a small sword onto her belt beside a series of insanely sharp knives.

I decided that I would do whatever I could to protect the group, even if that meant using the energy of a spectacular death to do it. Hefting the blade in my hand, I admired the glint of the metal and smiled across at Ozan. He’d picked out an axe that had once been enchanted to cut through dragonhide, but was now almost useless; it wouldn’t do him much good in that form. Beside him, Fiore was looking at Sirpa’s once-spelled arrows that wouldn’t deal a death blow to anything with armour now.

Something came over me like a spell; energy that hadn’t flowed through me for ages rippled through my veins. I felt warm again. I’d never realized that I was cold. Cold and alone and now, now I wasn’t. Now, I had a purpose again. I had to live to protect my comrades.

“I need to respell all your weapons,” I stated as the group started back out into the blowing snow. For a moment, as I had their full attention, I added, “I’d also like to try a more dangerous strategy before we actually go after the dragon.”


We crouched along the wall, listening to the dragon’s rhythmic breathing vibrating through the mountainside. Though I had spelled the weapons in case we needed them, I was hoping I could convince the dragon we weren’t there, so I stepped out onto the ledge in front of the nest. Curled up around a clutch of eggs was a massive beast with shimmering scales, claws that could crush a large elephant, and a pair of stunning leather wings.

Motioning to Ozan, I started to chant a powerful telepathy spell towards the dragon as the bard began to play a lullaby on his lute. As the gentle melody flowed through me and into the dragon’s sleeping mind, its breathing slowed even more.

Fiore, Conall, and Pippi climbed around us as Sirpa stood with his arrow aimed at the dragon’s heart, prepared to let it loose if the beast woke up. As they searched through the piles of gold and jewels, plucking items here and there for their own pouches, I felt the dragon pulling gently on my spell. It was difficult to keep my focus on the music as I struggled to keep the creature’s mind calm and blank. My mind kept wanting to drift to the object of our quest: a huge bag of raw-hewn gems worth more than our entire kingdom put together.

Finally, Conall touched my shoulder on the way back around the bend and I slowly released the dragon’s mind. I instinctively shoved Ozan away from me and into the cover of the ice wall just in time; the great lizard opened its fiery eyes and I found myself engulfed in flames.

For a few seconds, I thought I’d died. Honestly, I wasn’t that unhappy about it. I opened my eyes to the whole troupe staring down at me.

Grinning, Ozan exclaimed, “She lives! She lives!” and broke into an impromptu ballad about my immortality. Perhaps I have a few adventures still in me. And maybe I’m not as lost as I thought.

Camp Nano – Short Story #3

Joy

*For Camp Nanowrimo this April, I plan on writing 10 short stories that fall into different genres & elicit different emotions. Because I’m planning on editing them as I go, I’ll be posting a whole short story every ~3 days.*

My consciousness drifted back into being and the tea party I’d been dreaming about disappeared; I could still remember the bitter, fragrant taste of English breakfast tea on my tongue as the tinny music box melody that had played was replaced with the quiet sobbing of my roommate, Alice. Breathing deeply so she wouldn’t realize I was awake, I remained relatively still between my lumpy mattress and threadbare sheets. After what felt like hours, the knock came to the door and Alice ceased her crying instantly. A well-choreographed morning ritual.

“Good morning, Adrina,” she called to the door in her childish, high voice. There was no trace of the sorrow from seconds before.

When the door opened and Adrina stepped inside, I opened my eyes and yawned. “Mmm, ’ Morning,” I murmured, sitting up in my bed and smiling at the eldest child in the group home.

Stepping along the cold floor in her bare feet, she passed Alice her anxiety pills and a cup of water. When I first arrived here, they gave us our medicines in the kitchen, but the people who ran the home found this easier on everyone, apparently, and there was no point arguing. She watched and waited carefully as the small girl took her medication before whispering, “Good job, Al. We’ve got waffles for breakfast this morning so why don’t you hop up quick like a bunny and get ready for the day?” Adi was kind, in general, and definitely tried to make it easier on those of us who’d only ever known this makeshift pseudo family; she probably had a reason for her gentle, motherly nature, but those kinds of questions weren’t asked.

As Alice started to get dressed, Adrina walked to my bed and stood above me with an unreadable expression. Handing me my drugs and some water, she glanced over at Alice as she noisily made her bed, struggling like only a child could. I took the opportunity to slide the pills under my pillow and sipped the water as Adi looked back at me. “Thanks,” I croaked, blinking as I cleared my throat and handed the cup back.

“Your tutor is coming this morning, Joy, so better hop to it,” Adi suggested as she left the room, shutting the door softly behind her and moving quickly down the hall.

I grabbed the pills from my pillow and tucked them into the plastic bag in my toiletry box. I’d stolen the bag from a boardgame specifically for the task of covert capsule disposal. “Why aren’t you taking your medicine anymore?” Alice asked, her lip pouting a little as she sat on the edge of her bed swinging her legs.

Buttoning my blouse over my nightshirt, I replied, “Because I don’t really need them. They’re just making me miserable.”

“Are mine making me miserable, too?” she asked, her eyes somehow wider than usual.

“Oh,” I muttered, “No, no. I mean, yours are helping you to, to do things and be a kid. It’s different. I’m different.” Crossing the room, I gave her a hug and whispered, “I need you to please not tell anyone about the pills, okay?” When I pulled away, I stared into her watery eyes until she nodded. “Great. Let’s go brush our teeth so we can get breakfast, shall we?” I suggested, offering my hand to Alice and leading her across the hall to the much-shared bathroom.

When we arrived in the kitchen, Adrina was just starting on the second round of toaster waffles as one of the society’s staff members cut up some bruised exotic fruits. Smiling at us, Adi nodded to the pile of plates on the corner of the counter, and I took two; I passed one back to Alice as she followed me to the food. With our plates made up with a waffle, some fruit, and syrup, we headed into the dining room and scarfed down the food before anyone else made it down to the kitchen. Sometimes we were allowed a second plate of food, but waffles were already a treat, so Alice and I just sat quietly at the table until everyone had their breakfast.

“Alright, everyone. We’ve got a couple of tutors coming in and the schedule is up in the learning room so if it isn’t your turn and you’re going to stay there, please either do your work quietly or find somewhere else to be until they’re finished lessons,” Adi announced between mouthfuls of strawberries and overripe kiwi. The other eighteen kids finished their meals in quick order and scattered to play outside or do chores around the house, leaving me alone with Adrina. “Joy, are you alright? You’ve been quiet lately,” she asked, chewing the last little morsels off a small strawberry.

To be fair to the group home, they did have some very good, skilled staff members, but none of them were had time to be involved in our day-to-day lives; only Adrina would have noticed something was off. Nodding, I replied, “Oh, yeah, I’m just tired lately.”

She knew it was more than that, but left it alone. When you had well over a dozen other kids to look after, one being a little off couldn’t be afforded much more than a cursory examination. One, maybe two questions, tops. Nodding at me sadly, she got up and brought her plate to the kitchen. Through the wall, I could hear her joking with the kids cleaning the dishes and water sloshed somewhere. She laughed.


As I was just finishing up a practice quiz my tutor gave me, the numbers I’d been putting in began to shift and change; some formed new symbols while others inched around the page like uneven worms. Glaring at them, I blinked to see if they’d go back to normal and announced, “I’m finished with the test, Zak.” He stood beside the desk nodding at the page as I took deep, calming breaths; a panic attack seemed in the offing and I was determined to not allow it to come.

“Great job. Do you wabnt do nothina es?” he asked in gibberish, looking at me expectantly.

For a few seconds, I tried to figure out what was happening before gasping, “What did you say?” in clear English.

Taken aback, he repeated slowly, “Great job. Do you want to do another test?”

I swallowed a pit growing in my throat and shook my head. Though there were several other kids in the room working on their homework, none of them seemed to have heard the nonsensical words Zak had spoken.

“Yulre od igct,” he murmured as he packed up my math work, not realizing he’d gone back to gibberish, and put it into my folder. Turning, he smiled at Saje and exclaimed, “Id ya und uf wi.”

Standing up from my chair, I ducked my head and left as swiftly as I could; I didn’t want to hear any more broken sentences. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I had a decision to make. Either I would go upstairs to my room and avoid anyone else until at least lunch, or I could try to find a corner somewhere to think. I took a breath and took the stairs two at a time.

Halfway up, the worn wooden steps started to wabble under my bare feet, and I gripped the railing with both hands to keep upright. I stopped and wiggled my toes as the wood reverted to its stationary form. Shaking my head, I continued up to my room and shut the door behind me. It thundered and shook the whole house like an earthquake as it thudded into the frame; I had to cover my ears because it was so loud. Pushing through the noise, I switched the light on to illuminate the beds and simple dressers. When I sat down, the blankets puffed up around me and changed colour like it was woven out of hundreds of chameleons.

I peered around the room slowly and everything went back to its dull, sad normal state. Sighing, I leaned back on the bed with my hands behind my head and shut my eyes. On the inside of my eyelids danced flowers and beetles and other multi-limbed creatures of phenomenal colour. Whispered singing enveloped me in nausea so strong that it caused my head to spin.

Opening my eyes, I looked up at the brilliant ball of light hovering in the middle of the ceiling; it was so warm and comforting, beating down on me. I looked around at the bedroom and realized I was sitting in a field of wildflowers and heather. When I breathed in, it smelled like warm plants instead of like bleach. Chuckling to myself, I got up, brushing my fingers through the grass, and tentatively stepped to where I knew the door was. As I pulled it open, the grass continued down the hall, swaying in a light breeze as a short figure danced towards me. Eyes widening, I smiled at the creature. It was about the size of a child, but it had white fur, a pair of long satiny ears that stood up from its head, and a distinctly rabbit-like head.

“Haf un waja, Joy?” asked a high, childish voice coming from the creature.

Tilting my head, I smiled at the rabbit and replied, “I’m fine, bunny rabbit.” It felt like my mind was taking a vacation or something; I felt more relaxed and just happy than I had in a long time.

When the rabbit glanced nervously behind it, it asked, “What bunny rabbit?” and I finally recognized the voice and the cute, second-hand dress it was wearing.

“Oh, nothing, Alice,” I replied quickly, sidestepping her and heading downstairs. As I reached the top and looked down at the first floor, I couldn’t help but giggle; in the entryway was a small conglomerate of fanciful animals in human clothing chatting idly in gibberish. There were a couple of cats and dogs, rabbits, geese, and one skunk. Shaking my head, I carefully picked my way down the steps, unable to see the solid surface beneath the grassy coating.

As I swung around the corner, not hazarding to guess what any of the animals were saying, I found myself in the dining room. Set along the entire surface of the table were mismatched teacups and pots, piles of biscuits and trays of decorated cookies, and mice sitting at their own little tables amidst the crumbs. For a while, I watched them squeaking at one another before a tall goat entered from the kitchen wearing an apron and a concerned look. I straightened and smiled at her sheepishly.

“Joy, hantav nes fing?” asked the goat, who sounded suspiciously like Adrina.

Shaking my head, I croaked, “Uh, I didn’t catch that?” While the animals in clothing and awesome smells filling my world were certainly upgrades to my current, unhappy life, I could have done with continuous English.

“How’re you doing?” she repeated, taking a few steps forward with her hooves thudding heavily in the dense grass underfoot.

I smiled and replied, “Oh, yeah. Just a little tired; I think I’m going to go outside and get some fresh air.” Perhaps she recognized the deception, but I was banking on her not wanting to put any unnecessary effort into making me feel better as she was obviously busy. I felt more joyous than I had in ages, anyway. Slipping past her, I headed out into the backyard and was astounded by what the world outside had become.

Around the edge of the property was a tall, weathered cinderblock wall that towered above the apple trees and dwarfed the playhouse in the corner. As for the cheap, handmade playhouse, it looked far larger than usual and had taken on the façade of a fancy gingerbread house. Laughing as a group of humanoid animals played soccer with an oversized orange, squealing excitedly and shouting nonsensical words at one another, I shuddered as a loud, guttural cry tore through the peaceful day. None of the others noticed as a massive, winged beast flew overhead, shrieking at the sky. It was a leathery dragon with massive, clawed feet and piercing yellow eyes.

I waved as it crossed the yard again and again as though it was searching for something. When, finally, it seemed to spot its prey, it dove down and out of my sight. Sad to see the creature go, I wandered under the apple trees and scoured their branches for signs of supernatural life. As I shifted a branch out of my way, a glowing apple fell into my hand. Its smooth surface shimmered and wavered as I turned it in my palm.

“Hey, you aren’t supposed to pick the apples yet!” a shrill voice called from behind me. Turning, I grinned at the short rabbit with her arms crossed. It was hard to connect the cute appearance of the bunny with being annoyed.

As the dragon made another pass, this time silently, I offered the apple to the rabbit and murmured, “It fell when I came over here to look around, little rabbit.” Though she looked hungrily at the sweet, barely ripe fruit, she shook her head. “Suit yourself,” I added, taking a big, crunchy bite. Juice dribbled down my chin as the sweet apple gave up its sugars. It was like no apple I’d ever eaten before; this one had notes of tart grapefruit, with some blueberry and peach mixed in. “Amazing,” I sighed as I took another bite. Everything was better than before.

“Come here,” Alice whispered urgently, opening the sticky, icing-covered door of the gingerbread house and beckoning to me.

When I ducked in, the room opened up like an illusion until it was the size of the house. Ignoring this fact, I turned to the rabbit and smiled as I finished off the apple, core and all. I Swallowed and cleared my throat before asking, “What did you want to talk about?”

She peered out into the yard and replied gravely, “Hafla og beelns jawam opt.”

Again, I shook my head and requested, “Could you repeat that?” Outside, I heard the yowling of a large cat, perhaps a lion, and was momentarily concerned for my housemates before reminding myself that everything was fine.

“Adrina is worried about you and how you’re acting all weird today,” Alice reiterated, crossing her arms again and setting me with a stare I couldn’t imagine on Alice’s cute, human face, let alone the rabbit’s soft features.

Touching her shoulder, I sighed, “It’s okay; she has too much on her plate and I am fine. Better than fine, even. I’m happy, Alice, happy.” With that, I grinned and left the house to stretch in the warm, bright sunshine. I glanced over at the makeshift soccer field and spotted the tail of a lion disappearing over the massive wall; all the animals had been clustered around it and were now moping back toward the game, clearly unhappy that they’d driven the creature away.

I decided to go back inside and found myself in the library. Books were floating and flying above my head as I sat in one of the ancient, comfortable, plush chairs when Adrina walked in and shut the door behind her. Watching a particularly frisky book fluttering against the window, I tried to ignore the goat as she sat down in the chair opposite me. After a few seconds, I looked over and commented, “Beautiful day outside.”

This time, unlike most of the other conversations I’d had today, she asked in unbroken English, “Did you take the medication I gave you this morning?” She sat back in the chair, her wide eyes staring into my soul.

“No, I didn’t,” I admitted simply. Sighing, I continued, “I was miserable taking it and today, Adi, today has been so joyful.” When she didn’t immediately scold me, I continued, “I haven’t felt this free and happy and just, alive, since I got here.” I sighed again and looked back up at the books in the air. If the rest of my life was this full of wonder and joy and excitement, I would be happy forever.

Adrina was silent for a very long time. So long, in fact, that I looked over to make sure she was alright. “Joy,” she finally began quietly, considering every word very carefully, “the pills that I give you in the morning are just vitamins. Whatever has brought you joy today, is just you making it happen.”